thAnks fOr mAk!ng mE sm!lE...

:) Send :) this :) to :) anyone :)who :) made :) you :) smile :)somewhere :)sometime :) in :)your:)life.:) It :) may :) surprise :) you, :) but :-):-)check:-)out:-)hw:-)many :-)cums:-)back. Thanks:-)for:-)makin:-)me:-)smile:-).....;-);-)

n!cE stOry...

Very nice story:
Thr ws a farmer in Africa who ws hapi n content. He ws happy bcz he ws content. He ws contnt bcz he ws hapi. One day a wise man came to him
n told him about d glory of diamnds n d powr dat goes along wid dem. D wise man said, "If u had a dmnd d size of ur thumb, u cud hv ur own city. If u had a diamond d size of ur fist, u cud probably own ur own country." N dn he went away.
Dat nyt d farmr cudnt sleep. He ws unhapi n he ws discontent. He ws unhapi becz he was discontent and discontent

because he was unhappy.
The next morning he made arrangements to sell off his farm, took care of his family and

went in search of diamonds. He looked all over Africa and couldn't find any. He looked all thru Europe n couldn't find any. Whn he got to Spain, he ws emotionally,

physically n financially broke. He got so dishrted dat he threw himslf into d Barcelona River n committed suicide.
Bck home, d persn who had bought his farm ws watrng d camels at a stream
dat ran thru d farm.
Across d stream, d rays of d mrng sun hit a stone n made it sparkle lyk a rainbow. He thot it wud luk gud on d mantle piece. He

pickd up d stone n put it in d livng rum. Dat aftrnun d wise man came n saw d stone sparklng. He asked, "Is Hafiz back?" The new ownr said, "No, y do u ask?" D wise man said, "Bcz dat is a diamond. I recgnize one whn I see one."
D man said, no, dat's juz a stone I pickd up frm d stream. Cum, I'll show u. Dere r many more." dey went n pickd sm samples n snt dem fr analysis. Sure enuf, d stones wer diamnds. Dey found dat d farm ws indeed covrd wid acres n acres of diamonds.
Moral:
1. Opportunity is alwz undr our feet, al v need to do is recognize it.

2. D grass on d oder syd alwz luks greener.

n!cE stOry...

An eagle's egg was placd in d nest of a chicken. D egg hatched n d li'l eagle grew up thnkng it ws a chickn.
D eagle did wht chickens did.
It scratched in dirt fr seeds, clucked n cackled n nvr flew more thn a few feet. One day he saw an eagle flying
gracefully n majestically in d open sky. He asked d chickens: "What is dat

beautiful bird?"
The chickens replied, "dat is an eagle. He is an outstanding bird, bt

u cnt fly like him bcz u r juz a chicken." So d eagle nvr gave it

a 2nd thought, believng dat to b d truth. He lived d lyf of n died a

chicken, depriving himself of his heritage bcz of his lack of vision.
Wht a waste! He ws born to win, bt ws conditiond to lose.

D same thng is true of most ppl.
D unfortunate part of lyf is as Oliver Wendall

Holmes said, "Most people go to their graves, with music still in them." We dnt achieve excellenc bcz of our own lack of vision.

l!fE AlwAz l!E btwn EgO n cArE....

Life always lies between ego n care.. Care says lets call or msg him/her.. But ego says let him/her mesg me...!!
Think on it, n hav a diffrnce.

fAct AbOut humAn EmOt!Ons....

A fact about human emotions

"We do not hate the person we ever loved.

We only try to make them realise how it feels wen we r neglected"!!

whAt wOuld hAppEn !f Engg. bEcOmEs A d!rEctOr....

If engineers start making films,the names will be-Current ho na ho, Jaanam supply karo, Aa ab B.Tech karen, Kabhi AC kabhi DC, Hamara IC aapke pass hai,Fuse lagaya to darna kya,Engineer no.1, Engineering koi khel nahi,Input wale output lejayenge,and the block buster"Maine engineering kyon kiya!

t!ps fOr All g!rls...

A tip for all girls - How to know if its true Love
On ds wednesday, if your guy spends the entire day with you, instead of watching the match..Marry him !! :P

hAk!m...

Ek HAKIM Sex ki goli bech raha tha. Ek lega to Lamba hoga, Do lega to Khamba hoga, Aadmi bola"Teen lunga to? HAKIM bola, "Bhosdi ke.Chodna hai ki KHODNA hai?

shAyAr!...

Ishq Ishq kardi dunia, Door Ishq da dera,

Je sanu mil jaye sajjan, Dil wich pyar bathera,

Je koi Sache dilo pyar kare, ta IKO yaar bathera..

must rEAd !t....

Do read it:
There was a man who made a living selling balloons at a fair. He had all colors of
balloons, including red, yellow, blue, and green. Whenever business was slow, he would

release a helium-filled balloon into the air and when the children saw it go up, they all

wanted to buy one. They would come up to him, buy a balloon, and his sales would go up

again. He continued this process all day. One day, he felt someone tugging at his jacket.

He turned around and saw a little boy who asked, "If you release a black balloon, would

that also fly?" Moved by the boy's concern, the man replied with empathy, "Son, it is not

the color of the balloon, it is what is inside that makes it go up."

The same thing applies to our lives. It is what is inside that counts. The thing inside of us

that makes us go up is our attitude.

hOw fr!Ends hElp....

How do friends help us in problems?

They give the most stupid suggestion that Lands us into another problem and helps us forget the previous problem:)

hubby n w!fE....

Biwi: Dear Tum mujhe kitna pyar karte ho
Pati - Main tumse itna pyar karta hun ki tumhara jhuta zaher b pee sakta hu. Yakin na ho to aazma lena

sAntA n h!s w!fE...

Santa Ki Wife Ne Ek Din Mood Mein Aake Santa Ko Bola

Wife: Aaj Mujhe Rass Si Baand Ke Jo Karna Hai Kar Lo

Bas Fir Kya Tha Santa Ne Wife Ko Rus si se bandh kr naukrani ko chod diya

cArE...

When we care for someone, they think we are boring ..Bt when they really need us, someone else have already liked our boring care.

lOvEly stOry...

A lovely story..pl read it
Hope u'l lyk it
Story:-
Intrnal motivation cums frm within lyk a sense of achievmnt,
rsponsibilty n belief.

Thr ws a young boy who used to cum fr regular practice bt alwaz playd in d

resrves n nvr made it to d soccer eleven. While he ws practicing, his dad used to sit at d far end, waitng fr him.
D matches had startd n fr 4 days, he didnt cum fr practice nt evn semifinals. All of a sudden he came fr finals, went to d coach n said,

"Coach, u hv alwaz kpt me in d reserves n nvr let me play.
But today, pl let me play.
D coach said, "Son, I'm sry, I cnt let u. Thr r

btr playrs thn u n besides, it is d finals, d reputatn of d scul is at stake. I cnt take a chance."
D boy pleaded, "Coach, I promse I vl nt let u

dwn. I beg of u, pl let me play."
D coach had nvr seen the boy plead like this
before. He said, "OK, son, go, play. But remember, I m going against my better

judgment n d reputation of d school is at stake. Don't let me dwn."

D game startd n d boy played lyk a house on fire. Evry time he got d ball, he shot a goal. He ws d star of the game. His team had a spectacular win.

Whn d game finishd, d coach went up to him n said, "Son, hw cud I hv been so wrng in my lyf. I hv nvr seen u play lyk dis b4. Wht happend?

Hw did u play so well?"
D boy rplyd, "Coach, my fathr is wtchng me today."

D coach turnd around n luked at d place whr d boy's fathr usd to sit.

Thr ws no1 thr. He said, "Son, ur fathr usd to sit thr whn u came fr practice, but I dnt c anyone thr tday."
D boy rplyd, "Coach, dere is smthng

I nvr told u. My fathr ws blind. Juz 4 days ago, he died. Today is d frst day

he is watchng me frm above."

A msg fOr gAls....

Boys are stronger than gals???

OOH-PLEASE!!!!
No ways!!!!

Can they carry 8kg of shopping bag?
Can they go a week eating nly salad?
Can they face a heart break?
Can they watch the love of their life b with sum1 else?
Can they burn their forehead with a straightner and not complain?
Can they take care of a child,cook,clean and talk on the phone at once?
Can they walk all day on 6 inch heels?
Can they cry all night and then wake up the next morning like evrythngs ok?
GIRLZ ROCK!!!
4wrd to al girls to make them smile nd to boys who thnk they r stronger!

shAyAr!....

Woh kehte hain majboor hoon main,Na chahtey hue bhi tumse door hoon main,churali hain jisne dhadkane humari,phir bhi kehte hain bekasoor hoon main.

gAl....

Bina make-up ke ladki khas lagti hai Make-up karle to bindas lagti hai Papa ke sath jaye to udas lagti hai Par jab jaye akeli to jhakas lagti hB-):-P

pEArl Of l!fE....

Pearl of the life-
Don't Judge your Friends by the way they Speak, Judge them by the way they care Because Care is Outcome from True Friendship.

funny quOtE....

Funny Quote on a Husband's T-Shirt...

"All Wifes Are Devils,

But My Wife Is Queen..!!

.

.

.

.
Of Them...!!!

sm!lE...

Smile is the
Lighting system
of the Face...
Cooling system
of Heart...
Charging system
of Mind...
So keep Smiling
always...!Good morning.

lOvE n trust...

Luv and TrusT r BaseD oN FactS anD actS..

One WronG Act Can Break one'S TrusT..
WheReas oNe sMall fAct Can Make One fall iN love.. :)

truE wOrds !n EvEry s!tuAt!On...

Easily achieved things do not stay longer..

&

Things which stay for long are not easily achieved..

True in all cases from Success to Relationships...:-)

gOod mrng....

,___(.")___,
) )
./ L

Uff...!! Kinni Jaldi Subah Ho gai..

Pata Hi Nahi Chala,..

Good morning, have a nice day..

gud rElAt!Ons hArd tO f!nd...

Stry of day:
2 childhud frnz wnt thru scul n clg n joind
army 2gthr. War broke out n dey wer fytng in d same unit.
Bulets flyng al ovr, out of darknes came a voice,
"Harry, pl cum n hlp me." Harry rcgnizd its his frn. He askd d captain if he cud go. D cptn said, "No, I cnt affrd to lose 1 more prsn.
N he is nt gng to make it."
Harry kpt quiet. Again voice
came, "Harry, pl cum n hlp me."
Again n agn d voice came. Harry cudnt resist nw n told d cptn, "Cptn, dis is my frn. I hv 2 go n hlp."
D cptn let him go. Harry crawled n draggd Bill bck. Dey found dat Bill ws dead. D captain
shoutd on Harry, "Didn't I tell u he ws nt gng to make it? He is dead, u cud
hv been killd n I cud hv lost a hand. Dat ws a mistak." Harry rplyd,
"Captain, I did ryt. Whn I reachd Bill he ws still alive n his last wrds
wer 'Frn, I knew u wud cum."'
Moral: Gud relatnshps diff to find n once found must b nurtured:-)

whEn u fEel dEprEssEd...rEmEmbEr...

Wen u r feelin depressed n defeated...
Just remembr dat...

"U were once d strongest n d fastest Sperm of ur daddy..!!"

Go Spermie go...!!! :-P :-D ;-) :-p

fAthEr n sOn !n A hOtEl.....

Papa aur beta ek Hotel me gye...
.
.
Papa: Waiter,
.
1 Beer aur 1 Ice-Cream lao...
.
.
.
Beta: Ice-Cream kyu papa?

Aap bhi Beer pijiye na.

gOldEn wOrds by h!tlEr....

Golden Words By Hitler -
"Think Thousand Time Before Taking a Decision,
But Never Turn Back Even If u Get Thousand Difficulties Aftr Such Decision"..

sAd lOvE stOry....

A SAD LOVE STORY:
Ek student ko apni classfellw se pyaar ho gaya.
Ladke ne use perpose kiya lekin Ladki ne inkaar kar diya aur teacher ko uski complain kar di.
Teacher ne kaafi daanta or 1 week ke liye class se nikaal diya..
Jab Ladka 1 hafte baad wapis class me gaya to Ladki ko us se pyaar ho gaya.Ladki ne uski kitaab me likha
"I m sorry & i love u too."
Ladke ne koi response na diya.
Isi tarah 4 saal guzar gaye.. .
MORAL:LADKE KITAAB HI NAHI KHOLTE.. .

gAbbAr n sAmbhA....

Gabbar:Kitne Admi the?

Sambha:sarkar 2.

Gabbar:Mujhe ginti nahi Aati, 2 kitne hote hai??

Samba:2, 1 ke Baad Aata hai.

Gabbar:aur 2 k pehle??

2 k pehle 1 Aata hai.

Gabbar:To bich me kaun Aata hai?

Samba:Bichme koi nahi Aata.

Gabbar:To fir Dono ek sath Q nahi Aate?

Samba:2, 1 k bad hi aa sakta hai Qki 2, 1 se bada hai..

Gabar:2, 1 se Kitna bada hai?

Samba: Kutte...goli marni hai to mar de,
Tera namak khaya hai,
CHAVANPRASH Nahi"

truE sAy!ng...

"A true saying"

Anythng is valuble only in two situations;

1ST:-Before getting it

2ND:-After losing it

So take care of every little thing in ur life. :-);-)

stOry Of twO brOthErs...

A stry of 2 brothers. One ws a drug addict who frequntly beat his family. Odr ws a vry succesful businsman
who ws respctd in society n had a wondrful family.
Sm ppl wntd to find
y two brothrs frm d same parents, brought up in d same environmnt, cud b so diff?
First one ws askd, "How cum u do wht u do? U r a drug addict, a drunk, n u beat ur family. Wht motivates u?"
He said, "My father."
Dey askd,
"Wht abt ur fathr?"
D rply ws, "My father ws a drug addict n he
beat his family..Wht do u expct me to b? Thts wht I am"

Den odr brother ws askd same
ques "How cum u r dng evrythng ryt? Whts ur source of motivation?"
N gues wht he said? "My father. Whn I ws a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk n dng al d wrng thngs. I made up my mind dat it is nt wht I wantd to b"

Both wer derivng thr strength n motivatn frm d same source, bt one ws usng it positivly n d odr negativly.
Moral: Thinking matters:-)

dAngErOus msg....

This is a Very
Dangerous Msg
So,Pls Dont Allow
Children,Old People,
Heart patients,
Pregnant Ladies
To Read it

.
.

.

"U R SMART"

w!fE dEmAnd!ng cAr frOm husbAnd...

Wife hints 2 husband 4 a new car..
"Dear, buy me sumthing dat goes 0 to 80 in 3 seconds wen I am on it" Husband gifted her a Weighing Machine!!

!ts truE lOvE...

Osumm 1:)
Husband cums home drunk n breaks sum crockery,
vomits n fals down on the floor
Wife puls him up n cleans evrything.
Nxt day wen he gets up he expects her to b really angry wid him.
He prays dat they shud nt hav a fight
He finds a note near d table "Honey ur favorite breakfast is ready on d table,
i had to leave early to buy grocery,
I'l cum runnin back to u sweetheart.
I LOVE U. Lots n lots of kises.

He gets surprised n asks his son, wat hpnd last nyt
Son told, 'wen mom puld u 2 bed n tried removin ur shirt,u wer dead drunk,
n u said

"HEY LADY!
LEAVE ME ALONE,I M MARRIED!!"
Dats luv :)

GOd hElp thOsE whO hElp thEmsElf....

A flood ws threatenng a small town n evry1 ws leavng fr safety excpt one
man who said, "God vl save me. I hv faith."
As d watr level rose a jeep came to

rescue him, d man refusd, saying "God vl save me. I hv faith."
As d watr level

rose furthr, he went up to d 2nd storey, n a boat came to help him. Agn he refused to go,sayng "God vl save me. I hv faith."
D watr kpt risng n d

man climbed on to d roof. A helicoptr came to rescue him, bt he said, "God vl save

me. I hv faith." Well, finally he drownd. Whn he reachd his Maker he angrily

questiond, "I had complt faith in u. Y did u ignore my prayers n let me

drown?"
D Lord replyd, "Who do u thnk sent u d jeep, boat n

helcoptr?"

D nly way to overcum d fatalistic attitude is to acept respnsibilty n believ in d law of cause n effect rathr thn luck. It takes action, preparatn n plannng

rather thn waitng, wondring or wishng, to accomplish anythng in lyf.

strAngE but truE...

Strange quote wch is found 2 be true n bst-

"It's better to jst quietly miss sumone rather than let them know & get no response..!!

stOry Of An Engg.

A engg. having no child, no money, no home, blind mother, prays to God.
.
God says he wil grant him ONE wish.
.engg.: I want my mother to see my wife putting diamond bangles on my child's hands, in our new bunglow.;)
.
God: Damn! I still have a lot to learn from these enggs. :

dOn't dr!nk wAtEr dur!ng stud!ng....

Don't drink water while studying

Coz,
Chemistry says...

CONCENTRATION decreases on adding water.

No claps plz..
I don't like publicity..!!;-)

hE!ght Of sh!t....

Height of "oohh shit..."

A boy throws a luv letter to a gal bt it falls on her brother.........

n her brother agreed...;):D

sAntA....

SANTA Pravachan sun k Ghar aya or Biwi Ko godh me Utha Liya.Biwi : Kya Guruji Ne Romance krne ko Kaha?
SANTA : Nhi Re Pagli, Kaha apne dukh khud uthao.

gOvt. pOl!cy...

Govt. Kehti H
"1 Ladki Ne Padhai Kr Li To Ghar K 4 Logo Ko Shikshit Bnati H.

Pr Ladki K Pdhte Time College Me 40 Ladke FAIL Ho Jate Hain Uska Kya?

GOd Ask!ng A mAn h!s w!sh n mAn dEmAnds...jAnNat...

God asked man 'what's ur wish?'
Man said : God give me my Bachelor days back.....

God laughed n said 'Beta.... MANNAT mangne ko kaha tha... JANNAT nahi...

trEAtmEnt fOr lOosE mOt!Ons....

In Train
Girl:My head's aching, Boy Kised her head
Girl:My neck is Pain, Boy kised hr neck

OldMan:Hey u have any treatment for LooseMotion:-*:-P

mAths....

Ladki ko 11 sal me fertile period suru hoti hai.. .
Ek period me lagbhag 45ml BLOOD nikalta hai.. . to
45ml x 3times a day x 5 days=675mlx 12m =8100ml x 45 yrs =364.8 lit)
Pure lyf m ek chut 364.5 liter khun ugalti hai.. .
Ek din me 5 wisper
(5 pd x 5dys =25 pds x 12 m =300pads/per year x 45 years = 13500pads = 1125 pack WISHPER ULTRA x rupees 52.00 = Rs 58500.00)
Means
Ek ladki puri zindgi me jitne apne chut par kharch karti hai utne me ek BAJAJ PULSAR150 cc aa jayegi.. .
Samja.. .

hAppy hOl!....

Pichkari ki Dhar,
Gulal ki bauchar,

Apno ka pyar,

Yahi hai yaaron holi ka tyohar.

Happy Holi!!

i wish to all my frends Happy HOLI

b!o tchr n studEnt...

Biology teacher: agar ladki ko Asthma attack aaye to use der tak apne honto se saans do!
Student: wo to thik hai, lekin aisa kya kre k usey Asthma attac aaye.

frOm A lOvErs hEArt...

From a lover's heart:
"kaun kehta h ki dil gum se bhra hota nhi,
kisi ki yaad me koi din-raat rota nhi,
apne dard ko kagaz ki shakl dete rahe,
har koi apne dard se ek pal juda hota nhi..
Ab to e yaar samajh le dastaan apni,
kbhi hum dube kbhi jahan ko dubate rhe,
hum apne gum ko kagaz par jataya krte rhe,
is dil ka kuch bojh halka krte rhe,
tum to kehte the mere pyaar se inkar nhi,
meri duniya mein chale aane se ikraar nhi.

Tod do bandhan apne hoton ki khamoshi ka, keh sako, keh b do, tumhe mujhse pyaar nhi..
Agar h to keh do..ha pyaar h
ha pyaar h..!"

n!cE....

How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board:-D

shAyAr!....

Mashoor Raand ne Arz kiya hai..

"Aane wale Aate Hai,
Jaane wale jaate Hai..
Yaade bas unki Reh jaati Hai,

Jo GAAND SUJAA ke jaate Hai....:-

lkg bOy n g!rl...

L.K.G boy-tu mujse shadi klegi?
G-nhi
B-kalle na
G-nhi me ni klungi
B-plz kalle teko tophi duga
G-isiliye to ni klni,kyuki kisi or se choclate me bat ho lakhi h.

tchr n nAughty studEnts....

Teacher-Bacho Kasam Lo Ki Daru. Cigrate Or Ladkiyo Se Dur Rahoge. Or Desh Ke Liye Jaan Bhi Doge.
Boys-De Denge. Saali Aisi Zindagi Ka Karenge Bhi Kya..!

f!ght btwn husbAnd n w!fE....

Couple had a fight,
Nxt mrng Hsbnd offerd a glas of milk 2 his wyf,
Wyf-R u sry 4 fyting wid me?
Hsbnd-No 2day is Nagpnchami
"LE NAGIN DUDH PI LE.

tchr n sAntA....

Teachr-Itne din se kahaan the?

santa-Bird flu ho gya tha

Techr-Par ye to Birds me hota h

santa- saale tune Insaan samja hi kab, roz to Murga bana deta h..

hAppy hOl!....

|===(,',',',',',',>~

ye lo holi ka gift pichkari ab mummy ko tang mat krna..

HAPPY HOLI ..

2012....

Wat u hv learnt frm japan earhquake

2012 me duniya khatm hone k sign hain

prayer chodo

shadi krke honeymoon pe nikal jao dosto!;-)

bOy n yAmrAj.....

Boy:Yamraj ji muje Waqt se phele kyu Utha liya?
Yamraj:Dimag mat chaat 'March mein yearly Closing hai'.
Target pura krna hai...

sAntA plAy!ng cr!ckEt....

Santa Cricket Khel Kr Aya

Banta:~ Kitne Run Bnaye?

Santa:~ Century Hone Mein 99 run Baaki the aur me out Ho Gya

Banta: shit Yaar,so close.:-D

hE!ght Of hOnEsty....

What is the height of Honesty?
.

.

.

Sitting in the

Examination Hall

Opening the chit, memorising the answer & writing it without seeing...!!

n!cE msg....

Koi tumse puche kon hu me.?
Tum kah dena ..koi khas nhi...
1 dost h kacha pakka sa..,
1 jhuth h adha sacha sa..,
Jajbat k nam par 1 parda sa..,
Bus 1 bhana acha sa.., Jo pas hokar b pas nhi.., Par us se chupa koi raaz nhi.., Jo har pal tumhe yad kre.., Apni sanse tumhare naam kre.., Jo rutho toh tumhe manaye.., Jo apni har baat tumhe btaye.., Jo tumhare gum janta ho.,Dua tumhare liye mangta ho.
koi tumse puche kon hu me?
Tum kah dena koi khas nhi.

fAthEr n sOn....

Ek Bap 14 Sal ke BETE ka School Bag Check kar Rha tha
1 CONDOM Mila.
Bap: sharm Nhi Aati iss UMAR Me Bag Me ye Rakhte ho?
BETA:To is Umar Me BAAp Ban Jau kya.

hAppy hOl!.......

PURNIMA ka chaand
RANGO ki doli

CHAND se uski chandni boli,

KHUSHIYON se bhare apki jholi,

MUBARAK ho apko ADVANCE ME

RANGBIRANGI HOLI..."

th!s !s rEAl fr!Endsh!p....

Ye hoti h asli dosti

1 dost ne apne dost ko aadhi raat ko phone kia or bola:
"Yar m ro raha hu:-("

Dost ne kaha

Bhaad me ja sale!
M so raha hu.. :)

stOry w!th A mOrAl....

Teachr: Santa ek story sunao with moral.
Santa:Maine usko phone kiya vo so rahi thi.
Phir usne muje phone kiya main so raha tha.
Moral:Jaisi Karni Vaisi Bharni

thOught full l!nEs....

Thoughtful line...

"Speak sweetly, so that, if you have to eat your own words back, they don't taste bad.."

dctr n w!fE....

Dr. Apke Pati ko bahut kamjori hai,
Rozana doodh dijiye.

Lady- Roz Deti hu Dr. Saab,
lekin ye dabate jyada hai or peete kam hai..

w!fE's Add !n nEwspApEr AftEr thE dEAth Of hEr husbAnd....

Pati k Marne k Next day,Wife Ne Paper Me Ad. diya:
Antim Sanskar Me Shamil Hue Sab Logo Ko Thanx
FROM:
Shalu(26),
Hight-5'5",
36/24/36
Gora Rang,
Bache Nahi hai

quOtE....

A quote from Casanova's dictionary.....
Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you....
Failure is when u leave her a 'Virgin'....!!! :-)

funny lOvE stOry.....

Funny love story:-

1 din 1ldke ki grlfrnd ka birthday tha n

boy was not in that city

So,he ordered 24 red rose 4 her grlfrnd. . .

& called her up- Dear maine tumare liye utne rose bheje h jitni saal ki tum ho gyi ho. . .

While delivering florist thought- ye aaj ka mera sabse achcha customer
h. . ,
Chalo m ise 10 rose free me de deta hu. . ,

so,he gave 34 instead of 24. . .

Or aaj tk ldka nhi samajh paya ki uska break-up kyu huaa?

hArd truth.....

A hard truth :
All men are millionaires,
at least by sperm count..

A Funny truth :
even these millions are spent on women..!!!:-D

fOr fr!Ends.....

Ye dost saale hote hi itne kminye hai,,,
.
Humse ladte rhenge zindgi bhar. Lekin hmare ek aansu pe inki zindgi bhi tham jati hai,
.
Hme gaaliya b sunaenge lekin kahin hmne 2 labz pyar se bole to aankhe namm kar denge,
.
Hmari har burai pe tokte rhenge lekin ek b achchai dikh gyi to har taraf dhindora peet denge,
.
zindgi me dost nahi milte, doston me zindgi milti hai..
.
i dn't wana lose u frndz Be wid me 4ever....:-)

mOm AskEd mE tO cOmE strA!ght bAck tO hOmE AftEr schOol....

Tchr: Who wants 2 go to heaven?

Evry1 raised deir hand xcpt a smal boy,
On being askd
He said "Mummy ne kaha tha ki schul k baad sidha ghar aana :-)

wh!ch AwArd w!ll u g!vE tO mE....

Wch award vil u gv me?
1.Best looks awrd
2.Best speech awrd
3.Best eyes awrd
4.Best character awrd
5.Best smile awrd
6.Best lover awrd
7.Best frnd awrd
8.Best care taker awrd
Snd it 2 al ur frnz & C wt award wil de nominat u?M waiting??

l!nEs frOm A brOkEn hEArt......

Nice line said by a broken heart...
''Please don't come again in infront of me..., otherwise i'll trust u one more time.

m gEn!Ous but m nOt prOud Of !t......

Wo konsi cheez h jo fridge me rkhne k bad b garam rehti h?

Nhi pata?

Ans:Garam masala

Dekha genius hu par kbhi ghamand nhi kiya :-P

tchr n studEnts.....

Teacher: ladkiya Upar ki jeb me mobile kyun nahin rakhti..?
Pappu: sir me btaun..
kyonki vibration hone se dudh ki lassi ban jayegi...

sAntA n bAntA.....

Santa-Tu Office Me To Sher Bankar Ghumta Hai Ghar Pe Tujhko Kya Ho Jata Hai
Banta-Ghar pe bhi Sher Hi Hu,Bas Upar Durga Ma Sawar Ho Jati Hai

sAntA n h!s w!fE....

Santa ne apni Biwi ko dost ke sath dekh dost ko goli maar di.
to Wife boli apne guse pe kabu rakho varna 1 din sare dosto se hath dho bethoge...

mms p!c...

mms p!c....

mms p!c....

mms p!c...

nEw cOllEgE...

Rjnikant Strted a colg
All studnts wer confused while taking admission
coz name of d colg is
Rjnikant's Medical Colg of Engineering for commerce.

mms p!c....

why v w!sh gud mrng....

Good morning is not a formality or
due to lw cost msg,

Its d art of saying dat
I REMEMBER YOU
in
"MY FIRST MINUTE OF THE DAY"..
HV A Lovely DAY.
take care..

l!On n l!OnEss.....

Sher sherni ko kiss krne lga.
Sherni usey rok ke idhr udhr dekhne lgi.
Sher: ka hua?

Sherni-Dekh rhi hu aas pass Discovry wale to nai. sale mms bana dete hain.

nEw AgE rhym....

New-age rhyme: Ba Ba Bastard have u any kids? Yes sir yes sir 3 damn kids, 1 from my neighbour, 1 from my maid, & 1 from d call girl whom i never paid :-D

mArr!AgE....

Ladke wale: hum ko ladki pasand h, shadi kb krni h?

Ladki wale: abi to ladki padh ri h.

Ladke wale: to humara beta knsa bcha h, jo kitabe fad dega:-P

sAntA n dOctOr....

Santa:Dr.Sab mujhe loose Motion ho rahe hai.

Doctor:Accha kitni patle ho rahe hai loose motion

Santa:Itne Patle ki aap Garare kar sakte ho:-P

jAat !n dElh!....

JAAT Delhi k 1 Kothe par gaya aur bola : Mujhe Rita se milna hai.
Aunti : Wo 1 baar k 1000 Rs leti hai.
Jaat : No problem. Jaat Rita ko Thok k 1000 Rs de deta hai.
Next day fir Rita ko thok k 1000 Rs. de deta hai.
3rd day fir thok k 1000 deta hai.
Rita : Tum bahut achhe ho, kaha se aaye ho ?
Jaat : PAALAM se.
Rita : Waha to meri behan bhi rahti hai.
Jaat : Malum hai, usi ne mujhe 3000 rupe diye the aur kha meri bahan Rita ko de dena.

bEst s!gn bOArd.....

BEST SIGNBOARD:

"DANGER,1OOOO VOLTS,TOUCHING THIS WIL LEAD TO DEATH.
ANYONE FOUND TOUCHING WIL BE JAILED FOR 3 YEARS"

thOught fOr thE dAy.....

Sexy Thought fr the day:

"always smile in the morning...

...It makes people
wonder wat u did last night..!";-)
gud mrng:-)

why fAcEbOok !s sO h!t.....

Why Facebook is soo hit ?
It works on the principle that People are more interested in others life than their own..!!

sAntA....

Santa's Father brought a NEW SIM CARD..

Santa saved that Number in his Mobile Phone as,
.

.

.

.

.

"New Father"

rAcE bEetwEen nAnO n fErrAr!....

In a car race Tata Nano beat Ferrari...
.
.
Aftr sum tests engineers undrstood dat...
Schumacher was driving Ferrari bt Nano was being driven by..

Rajnikant..:-P

mOst hArd wOrk!ng guy....On mtv....

Who is the Most Hardworking Guy in MTV Roadies except Raghu, Rajeev & Rannvijay..? . . . . . . The One who operates the BEEP **** Button..:-P

nAughty bOy !n clAss

Naughty boy draws a penis on the black board. Lady teacher rubs it off. Next day he draws a bigger one & writes: 'jitna ragdogi utna bada hoga.. .

A g!rl....

Ek ldki chata thik krwane k liye chate wale ke pas jati hai...chata wala pehle chata dekhta hai or pir ldki ko...or kehta hai..dekho ji upr se kpda utarna pdega or niche se dnda dalna pdega...tbi ldki kehti hai...dekho jo mrji kro lekin pani andr ni jana cahiye...

yEw w!ll lOvE !t.....

U will love it: Mujhse kaha khuda ne, "mat kar intzar is janam me uska, milna mushkil hai..!",

.

Maine bhi keh diya,"lene de maza intzar ka agle janam me to mumkin hai..!",

.

Fir usne kaha,"mat kar itna pyr bahot pachtayga..!",

.


Muskura k maine kaha"dkhte hai tu ktna meri ruh ko tadpayga..?",

.

Fir usne kaha,"hata use chal tjhe jannat k nur se milata hu.",

.

Maine kaha a niche dkh mere pyar ka muskurata chehra tjhe jannat ko bhulata hu,

.

Tilmilakar kaha usne-"Mat bhul apni aukat tu hai to ek "Insan".

.

Maine kaha"to mila de mujhe mere pyr se, or sabit kr k tu hi hai "Bhagwan"..!"

bEst thOught dEd!cAtEd tO EvEry s!nglE.....

Bst thot ever dedicatd to every SINGLE;-) :

"Njoy ur lyf as much as u can (as single),:-P
B'coz
to bcum Single again iz very painful..!:(

g!rl vs bOy's brA!n.....

girl's vs *BOY'S* brain!!

Boy: How many apples can u eat in empty stomach?

girl: I can eat 6 apples.

Boy: U can eat only 1 apple in empty stomach
Bcoz when u eat 2nd apple that's not in empty stomach.

girl:super joke!! i'll tell my frnds.

girl to her frnd:How many apple can u eat in empty stomach.

frnd:i can eat 10.

girl: hat yaar!! 6 bolti to mast joke sunati. :-)

husbAnd n w!fE....

Husband came home drunk & saw Wife wid another guy. Wife shouts-Y'r u so late? Aawara kahin ka.
Husband-But who's dis?
Wife-Dnt try 2 change d topic...;-)

mms p!c....

mms p!c....

w!fE n husbAnd....

Patni Pati Ko Maar Rahi Thi

Padosi-Q Mar Rahi Ho

Patni-Inko Call Kiya To Ek Ladki Boli

'Aap Jisse Sampark Karna Chahate Ho, Wo Abhi Vyast Hai'

mms p!c....

mms p!c.....

f!ght bEtwEen mE n t!gEr.....

Once there was a fight between Me and a Tiger..

I Ran away..

Why..??

Govt says: "Save the Tigers"

Only 1411 are left..!!

Otherwise u know me...:-D

bOy & g!rl....

Boy: Sex me Jyada maza boy ko aata hai ya girl ko?
Girl: Tere kan me khujli ho, tum ungli ander ghumao to kan ko sukun milega ya ungli ko.

husbAnd ,w!fE & bEer

A Man was in d pub with his Wife & said: "I LUV U"
She said: "Is that u or the beer talking?"

He replied: Its me....

Talking to the beer.%-):-D.:-).

sAntA n ElEctr!c!ty....

Santa Pe Bijli Ka Taar Gir Gaya: Wo chatpatane Laga Wo Tadap Tadap ke Marne Hi Wala Tha, Ki Achanak Use Yaad Aaya ki Supply to 2 Dino se band hai.

agAr !tnA kArEgA tO......

Sard Raato me saath dega kya?
.
Akeli Raaho me mere hatho me apna haath dega kya?
.
Agar itna karega to,
.
.
Bhai ek baar,
MERA MUH ME LEGA KYA?
.
.
.
Gum k fasaane tujhe Sunaunga,
.
.
Teri khushi me mein bhi Khush ho jaunga,
.
.
Meri Dosti ki Khaatir,
Ek baar,
.
Bus ek baar MUH ME LEGA KYA?
.
.
.
Mushkil Waqt me bhi mere
Saath rahega kya?
.
.
Haal mere tute Dil ka tu sunega kya?
.
.
Mere sawalo ka jawaab dega kya?
.
.
Bol na GANDU,
Ek baar MUH ME LEGA KYA...?

is msg k bad dost rahega kya
.
.
.
Y sub padne k bad gud nyt kahega kya

tune abi tak btaya ni gandu mera ek bar muh m lega kya...

th!Ef n pAthAn.....

Chor Pathan ke Ghar ghusa to Pathan ne pakad kar saari raat uski Gaand mari.

Fir subha pucha- Phir kab aaoge?

Chor: pathan Saab Chor hu, Chutia nahi !

AbOut sw!s bAnk....

Once rajnikanth travelling in helicopter via switzerland & his purse fall down in switzerland & that place is now called as

SWISS BANK

AbOut msg....

Message ek masti h,
ye call se sasti h,
neend ko,
udati h,
khoon ko,
badhati hai,
dimaag ko,
pakati h,
par
kuch b ho
ek dusre ki
yaad to dilaati h.