Happy new year 2014

2013 Tezi se Guzar raha hai...

Agar maine apko koi dukh diya ho ya meri wajah se apko koi takleef hui ho to.....

Plz

zara sochiye..
Pehle aap ne hi koi panga liya hoga..
warna aisa to ho hi nahi sakta k mere jaisa... Masoom
Samajhdar
insan aap ke saath kuch bura kare

Agar aap samajhdar hain to mujh se sorry bol dain..
Dil ke hum bohot achhe hai shayad maaf ker den...

Batana mera farz tha Baqi aap ki marzi.....

Mom And Son

Son : Mummy aap papa ke upar baith kar jump Q karti ho?
Mom :papa mote ho gayen hain na.... Unke pet ki hawa nikalti hoon.
Son : Kya fayda, kaamwali aunty papa ki pant utarkar muh lagakar phir se hawa bhar deti hai...

Hot And Sexy

Koi Bhi Girl Hot And Sexy Ho Sakti
 Hai
 Bas
 Dekhne Vaale Insaan Ki Neeyat Gandi
 Honi Chahiye

Adult

Jodha ke bade boobs dekh kar
 tansen ne birbal se kaha : yar ek bar jodha ke boobs chuswa de , 1000 asharfia dunga.
 Birbal ne jodha ke bra me 2 boond khujli ki dawai daal di.
 Jaise hi jodha ne bra pehni, khujli suru ho gayi.
 Akbar ne birbal se ilaaj pucha.
 Birbal : agar kisi surile gane wale se chuswa do to zeher nikal jayega.
 Akbar ne tansen ko boobs chusne ka hukm diya.
 Tansen ka kaam ho gaya. Next day birbal ne asharfia mangi, Tansen taal gaya.
 Birbal : mujhe pata tha madarchod ki tu aisa hi karega isliye dawayi ki 4 boond akbar ki chaddi me bhi daal di hain.
 Bhen ke lode, taiyaar reh, abhi bulawaa aata hi hoga..

Fashion Craze

Fashon Ka Zamana Hai
 Ek Ladki Ke T-Shirt Pe Likha Tha
 Amul ? The Taste Of India.
 Use Dekh Kar Santa Bahut Khush
 Hua,
 Aur Apni Pent Pe Likhva Liya
 Kurkure ? Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai.

Santa And His Neighbour

MULLA: Tera Birthday kab hai?
 SARDAR: Next week, Why?
 MULLA: Tujhe ghar ki window ke liye parde gift karne hai. Teri Wife ko tere saath sex kerte hue dekh-dekh ke Bor ho gaya hu.
 SARDAR: Tera Birthday kab hai?
 MULLA: Next month, Why?
 SARDAR: Tujhe Doorbeen Gift Karni hai, Taki tu dekh Sake ki Wife Kiski hai.
 (Har baar sardar chutya nahi hota)????.

Wife Saying I Am Pregnant To Santa

Wife: I am Pregnant.
 Santa: Par main to england me tha
 Wife: Aapki photo thi na
 Santa: Ullu mat bana kamini photo to kamar tak hi thi..

A Heart Touching Story

A very heart touching story.....

 Kutte ka bachcha apni maa se.....

 "Maa... Pitaji dikhne mein kaise the?"

 Maa boli..."Pata nahi beta...pichhe se aye the...pichhe se hee chale gaye."??

Delhi Belly Spirit

Delhi belly spirit aage badao yeah msg sabko sunao
Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,
 Jawaab meri baat ka.
Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
 Rom-Rom jazbat ka.
Muuh me lena tumhe pasand nahi,
 Ek bhi qatra sharab ka.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se daalo,
 Balon mein phool gulab ka?
Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,
 Intezaar uske jawab ka.
Abhi uske haath mei rakha hi tha ke usne pakad liya,
 Guldasta Gulabon ka.
Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aaGe se karo,
 Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab ka.
Usne kaha bada maza aata hai jab andar jata hai,
 Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar ka.

A Girl And Santa

1 ladki ka mangetar mar gaya
 Ladki rote hui boli
 "Abhi to kuch dekha b nahi tha"
 Santa ne Hosla diya
 "Abhi Thodi der me NEHLAYENGE tab
 dekh lena".

An Advocate And A Girl

Vakil- Behnji us raat Kya Hua Tha?
 1st usne Muje Giraya?
 Fir behnji,
 Fir Blous Fada,
 Fir Behnji?
 Fir Petikot Fada,
 Fir Behnji?
 Fir Apki Behn Chud gayi vakil sahib.

Mona And Rema

Mona-subah subah doodhwala bahut dabata h
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Rema-kya?
 Mona-Doorbell.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Rema-Isse accha toh mera paperwala h niche se daal k chala jata h

Santa With His Wife

Santa apni biwi se :~ 1 glass doodh dena.
 Biwi :~ 'bra'upar kar ke boli muh laga kar peelo.
 Santa : ~kamini, teri isi harkat k karan main pani nahi mangta ..??

Difference Between Girls And Boys

Girl 1: ?I am in love
 Girl 2:? who is he??
 Girl 3: ??how does he look?
 Girl 4: ??wat color?
 Girl 5: ?how tall is he??
 Girl 6:?? wat is he doing?
 Girl 7: ??who r his frnds?
 Girl 8: ??total wealth?
 After full inspection
 All Girls:? Be careful he might be a bad guy.
 Girl1: ??OK.
 .
 .
 .
 Same situation
 Boy 1: ?I am in love
 
 Boy 2:?Thoka?
 Boy 3:?Thoka?
 Boy 4:?Thoka?
 Boy 5:?Thoka?
 Boy 6:?Thoka?
 Boy 7:?Thoka?
 Boy 8:?Thoka?
 Boy 1: nahi sirf dabaye
 ??????

Santa In Love

Santa ne blade se apni girlrfrd ka naam hath par likha.
 5 min baad jor jor se rone laga.
 Banta: kyu rote ho.?
 Santa: bhench*d LADO ki jagah LODA likh liya.

Teacher Asking What Love Is

Teacher: What is love….???
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Student:
'L' ko hath me lekar
'O' ko dabate hue
'V' me dalte waqt jo
'E' ki aawaz nikalti hai
 use hi LOVE kahte hai..!!

It Is Said That...

Kahte hain..
 Shaadi ki gaantth to aasman mein hi bandh jati hai..
Insan to sirf petikot salwar bra ki
 gaantthe kholne ke liye hi zamin par bheja jaata hai.

Teacher And Student

Mam: Agar me teri maa ban jauto tuje 2 din me sudhar du!
 Golu: madam me abhi jake
 apne bapu ko btata hu ki..
 bapu teri lotery lgne wali hai. :p

What Is Love

Definition
 What is Love???
 .
 .
 .
 .
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 .
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 Answer by a boy - Love is the 7th sense of human which destroys all 6 senses n make the person nonsense..

Eyes

Read it twice you will know the fact of life..
 .
 .
 God has given us
 REAL EYES to
 .
 REALISE the
 .
 REAL LIES..

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Haryanvi joke

Haryanvi Jhatka :
Husband apni anpadh wife se-Darling,Honeymoon k liye chalen?
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Wife- Main to ibe kapde dhou su maa ne le ja...

Women never listen

Old but Gold:

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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .

Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart.:p

Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show\=D/

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Doctor and patient

After operation, a girl to Dr:how soon can i resume my sex life?
Dr:you are the 1st patient to ask this question after tonsil operation!

Pathan..

NON-VEG SMS KA BAAP...

Ek PATHANUSA se apni AMMI ko phone karta hai.

KHAN: AMMI Jaan! muje AIDS ho gaya hai. 

AMMI: Tu wapas mat aana BETA

KHAN: kyo AMMI

AMMI: agar tu aaya to Teri BIWI ko AIDs hoga,

Teri BIWI se tere BHAI ko

Tere BHAI se NOKRANI ko,
NOKRANI se tere ABBA ko,
Tere ABBA se teri MAUSI ko,
Teri MAUSI se tere MOUSA ko,
Tere MOUSA se Muje,
Muj se hamare DRIVER ko,
Driver se teri Behen ko

Aur Agar teri bahen ko ho gaya to saare GAON ko ho jayega!

Tuje ALLAH ka vasta
Saare GAON ko bachale BETA.. mat aana..