u w!ll f!nd All thE lAtEst Adult ,funny ,sAntA bAntA jOkEs ,!nsult!ng ,lOvE msgs ,shAyAr! ,quOtEs ,tOnguE tw!stErs...n mAny mOrE msgs wh!ch u cAn rEAd n sEnd tO ur fr!Ends...All thAt fOr frEe....
Friday, December 31, 2010
lOvE stOry.....
sAntA AgA!n
! cAn't chAngE...
EnjOy thE rA!n....
whAt !s sEx....
yOu hAvE tO bEnd ur hEad tO rEAd th!s.....
nEw wAy tO pAss t!mE....
thrEAtEnd sAntA's ch!ld...
whAt !s nE!thEr lOg!cAl nOr !llEgAl.....
mOrAl Of fEw mOv!Es....
thE rEAsOn fOr 7 !!T !Nst!tutEs !N !nd!A...
studEnt n tEAchEr.....
hEAlth t!ps.....fOrwArd whOm u cArE
ch!ldhOod.....
s!ngh !s k!ng.....
dOnt undEr Est!mAtE.......
u w!ll cry aftEr rEAd!ng th!s.....
funny but rEAl....
thAnk!ng EvErOnE...
mAh lAst n!ght drEAm.....
fr!Endsh!p....
7 cOntrAd!ct!Ons !n wOrld.....
4 EnggEn!Ers n 4 gAls !n A bus....
EnjOy thE rEmAn!ng dAyz Of 2010....
hAppy nEw yEAr....
hAppy nEw yEAr....
!nv!tAt!On fOr nEw yEAr pArty....
hAppy nEw yEAr....
hAppy nEw yEAr....
Thursday, December 30, 2010
wOmEn's ArE cOmpl!cAtEd.......
Bf- u r in a bad mood wats d matter wid u?
Gf- nothng
Bf- is it sumthng i said?
Gf- no
Bf- is it sumthng i dint say?
Gf- no
Bf- is it sumthng i did?
Gf- no
Bf- is it sumthng i dint do?
Gf- no
Bf-is it sumthing i said in casual reference to somethin i did wen d thing i did shuldn't have been done or at least done differently wid more concern for ur feelings?
Gf-maybe
Bf- i knew it.. B-) :p
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
gOod n!ght slEep wEll...
hAppy nEw yEAr !n AdvAncE...
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.
In advance
d!ffrNcE bEtwEen prAyErs....
Those in the Exam Hall are damn Serious... @
:p :D
! bEt u r gO!ng tO th!nk d!rty....
Then his wife tried with left hand, right hand.
Then his daughter-in-law tried with both hands, and also with her mouth.
Then
his neighbours tried same way...
But,
nobody could open the
" BOTTLE" :)
\;) May god bless your mind.
A cutE ExcusE g!vEn by A ch!ld fOr cOm!ng lAtE tO skl......
Teacher-
Y r u late..?
Stdent- Mom & dad were fighting.
Teahr- They were fighting, y r U late?
Stdnt- 1 shoe was in mom's hand and 1 in dad's..
sOngs rElAtEd tO EducAt!On...
MATHS-ajeeb dastan h ye,kaha suru kaha khatam.
SCIENCE-aa khusi se kudkushi krle. GEOGRAPHY-musafir hu yaro. ECONOMICS-kyu paisa-2 krti h,paise pe kyu mrti h,
EXAM-zehrelein raatey ninde udda jati h.,
RESULT-jiya dhadak-2 jaye. PASS-aj m uper asman niche..
Fail-jag suna suna lage..
psychOlOgy prAct!cAl....
Professor ne 1 Chuhe K Liye
Ek Taraf Cake 0r Dusri Taraf Chuhia Rakh di
Chuha Foran Cake Ki Taraf Lapka
Dusri Baar roti rakhi to uski taraf lapka. Isi tarah bar-2 food item change kiye per chuha 1 bar b chuhiya ki taraf nahi gaya. Prfsr- to isse ye sabit hota h ke pet ki bhuk sabse badi hoti h. Itne me pechay se awaj ayi- sir ek bar chuhiya ko bhi badal kar dekh lete.
sEArch!ng EyEs.....
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('_' )
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( '_')
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('_' )
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( '_')
Aankhen aaj bhi uss hramkhor ko talash rhi h, jisne kha tha
12vi tak padhlo
..uske bad to maje h..
fr!nds ,gAl fr!End n w!fE
"Asian paints" -Duniya badal de.
Girl Friend is like
"Everest masala" -Taste me best.
Wife is
"Mosqitocoil"- kone-kone se dhund ke mare...
EnggEr!ng....
God - "Sirf ek hi andar ja sakta hai.
Pehla = "Main pujari hu, sari umar aapki seva ki hai, swarg par mera hi haq h.
Dusra - "Main ek Dr. hu, sari umar logo ki seva ki hai. Swarg par toh mera hi haq hai.
Tisra - "Maine ENGRNG KI PADHAI KI HAI."
God - "kuch mat bol mere bache, rulaega kya?
sari JAWANI tu narak me raha hai.
Swarg par tera hi haq hai."
Dedicated to all engnrs...$$
lyf dEpEnds On hOw wE lOok
Wat did u read?
Life is no where or life is now here!
Just a beautiful line 2 say - 'life depends on d way we look at!
sOn....! m dO!ng hOmEwOrk
mOb!lE !s Our l!fE...
l!fE !s shOrt...l!vE !t w!th lOvEd OnEs....
AftEr OpEn!ng book AftEr mAny dAys...! fOund thAt.....
twO sArdArs dr!nk!ng wAtEr
whAt th!s hAs hAppEnEd...
sAd nEws.....mAh cEll phOnE !s dEAd....EvEryOne !s !nv!TEd....
hAryAnA pEOplE's ArE grEAt....
sAntA k!ckEd Out frOm h!s jOb On f!rst dAy....whAt's thE rEAsOn.....
sAntA w!th Am!tAb On hOt sEAt cAll!ng h!s mOm On A vEry d!f!cult quEst!On.....
AmAg!ng BtEch.......
A vEry n!cE msg fOr smOkErs.......
! m nOt dr!nk!ng....
w!fE's nEvEr End!ng dEmAnds....
tOoth pOwdEr usEd by rAjn!kAnt....
tAlEntEd 1st stAndArd bOy.....
rEAsOn fOr shOot!ng w!fE....
gud mOrn!ng....spEc!al chArActErs !ncludEd !n thE msg....
whAt w!ll hAppEn !f A bOy wEArs m!n! sk!rt....
bus dr!vEr n A ch!ld....(adult)
brEAk!ng nEws....
rEAsOn bEh!nd sAs n bAhu f!ght.....
g!rls rEspOnsE.....
rAjA sAhAb's Adv!cE....
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
prAyEr Of An !dEAl dAughtEr...
I dont ask anythng 4 myslf,
jus give my parents a damn hot
Son-in-law
--
Sent from my mobile device
y wE nEed fr!Ends
-4 those honest opinions..
-2 pick us 4m d railway station @ 2am..
-2 kick u @ midnyt on ur birthday..
-2 make fun of our new outfits..
-2 get latest print of moviez..
-2 call @ 3 am just to say gudnyt..
-2 listen 2 u, wen evry1 else is yelling at u..
-2 just walk widout ny reason..
-4 d endless Treats..
-2 irritate u wid missd calls wen v r sleeping..
-Or maybe 4 A BeAUtiFuL LyF. . .!
swEetEst pArt Of l!fE----fr!Ends....
"Tune shuru kia tha!"
A swt line 4a frnd wen mam scolded..
'maza aaya?'
A swt line wen ur crush is absnt..'Yaar pta nai aj achha nai lag raha'
A swt line wen sum of our frnd got dumped..
'Abe wo ladki tere layak hi nai..''
A swt line after bad exam.. 'Chal canteen chalte h'
A swt line wen al grup got punishd.
'Sb teri wajah s hua'
Wid tearz, Da swtst line wen al separate..'PTA NAI PHIR KAB MILENGE'
Frnds r d swetst part
Monday, December 27, 2010
truE lOvE AlwAz w!ns...
Kya Pyar karna itna bada gunah hai...
1 ladka aur 1 ladki pyar karte the...
Ladki ke baap ko pata chal gaya,
Usne gusse me bijli se chalne wali aari ko ladki ki gardan pe rakh diya!
Wo aari ladki ko kaatne hi wali thi ki achanak?
Light chali gayi,
Paas me khada wo ladka chillaya,
HOODA SARKAR ZINDABAAD!
Moral-Agar sacha hai aapka Pyar to sath hai aapke Haryana sarkar !
gAls bEfOrE n AftEr mArr!AgE....
Aftr mariage beautful doll
Aftr 1year
Nice doll
Aftr 2year
only Doll
Aftr 5year
Dhol
Aftr 10year
DoLLy bindra. ;-)
mOm !s grEAt...
Mom: Its simple. Of the 3, i hated her the most.
;-):-D
tOnguE tw!stEr....
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Say Clear And Loudly-
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".........Alpha Q........."
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Say 10 Times And See What Do You Get..!! :-) :-D :-P ;-)
lOvE n trust hAvE nO l!m!t...
He came hme n msg his gf
"U knw wat, i saw ur duplicate in d cofe shop 2dy"
Luv n trust hv no limits :)
skl lyf vs cOllEgE lyf....
College lyf..
Scul:1 colored dress for hundreds of days
Colg:hundred colored dress for one day..
Scul: two copies for one subject
Colg: 1 copy 4 al subjects
School: a white pipe in teacher's hand (chalk)
Colg: a white pipe in student's hand (cigarate)
School: Most frequent letter- Leave letter
Colg: Most frequent letter- Luv letter
School: if v go itz boring
Colg: if we dont go its boring....
fr!Endsh!p mAthEmAt!cs...
tht is, ONE.
Love is "COS 90"
tht is, ZERO.
but,
Our friendship is
"TAN 90"
tht is,
INFINITY :)
!nvEntEr Of EXAMS....
"HENRY FISHEL THE AMERICAN" was d first to invent d EXAMS....:-|
acha hua khud h tapak gaya wrna mere haatho se bachta nhi..
4WARD 2 all studnts....!!!!!
supErb quOtE...
Celebrating anythng without friends is like
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Enjoying a porn movie on a radio. . . . . ! ! ! ! !;):p
gudmrng:)
lOvE EvEryOnE
to 'EK'se kar.
Ho sake to
kisi 'NEK'
Se kar.
Jab tak
na mile
sacha 'DILDAR'.
Kam se kam
'TRY' to
'HAR EK' se kar.
jAat bOy n g!rl
Girl- "Tamiz se baat karo".
Boy- My dear with due respect i would like to say that
Phone Number Deve h k na..?
bEAut!full l!nEs....
" I don't care abt d World n wat People say as long as U make me Feel dat u r My World and not They...":-)
dEegrE Of fr!Ends
Send it to ur FRENDS nd see k wo tmhe konsi degree denge?!!
but 1st rply me
B.A
Beautiful Angel.
B.E
Beautiful Eyes.
B.sc
Beautiful Sweet Caring.
MBA
Mental But Attractive.
MBBS
Much Beautiful But Silly.
B.B.A
Beauty,Bold & Atrractive.
P.H.D
Perfect Heart Dream
l!vE l!fE......EvEry th!ng chAngEs w!th t!mE......
Saturday, December 25, 2010
sAntA's bAd luck....
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pi gya.
Santa- Meri to saali kismat hi kharaab hai.
Beta fail ho gya.
Bivi dost k saath bhag gyi.
Naukrani aa ni rahi.
Nal me pani nahi.
Ghar me light nahi.
Ab juice me..
Zehar dal k peene ko rakha tha, aur WO BHI TU PI GYA.
AccOrd!ng tO rAjn!kAnt....
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.'According to Rajnikant..'
80 yrs Old mAn's 20yr w!fE prEgnAncy truth....
Dr:-Ek Kahani suno...
1 Shikari shikar pe jate hue jaldi me Gun ki jagah Umbrela le gaya...
Jungle me uske samne Lion aaya, Usne Umbrela ka Handle Khicha aur Fire kiya...Lion mar gaya...
Old man:-Impossible,Kisi aur ne Goli mari hogi.
Dr:-EXACTLY sem 2 u.
mOb!lE Add!ct!On...
hum akele rehne se bahut darte hai..
Le lo exams sms par hi.,,, kyunki.....
yahi 1 cheez h jo hum man laga kar padhte hai:-P
rElAt!Ons !n l!fE....
publ!c bus....
shAyAr!
apki ehmiyat kya he ye kaise samjhayenge
aasman se uncha he rishta apna
chote se sms me kaise likh payenge...GUD N8
lOv!ng A g!rl (adult)
"U may Love a Girl very deeply But U CANNOT Express it more deeper than 4 or 5 inches":-)
shE!lA n munn!...
Agar Sheela kuchh der pehle jawan hoti
Agar Sheela kuchh der pehle jawan hoti..
Toh shayad munni thodi kam badnaam hoti..:-D
shAyAr!
Ishq K Sare Sawalo Ka Jo Jawab DeDe
Ae Khuda MujhKo Agr Kch Dna Hi H To
Aj Ki Raat Tu UnKa Khwab DeDe
shAyAr!
Milne ki bahut chahat hai, Par milne ke baad judayi se darte hain...
l!nEs frOm A brOkEn hEArt...
MusKuraNe Se PhLe Hi tu RuLa GaYi,
Kya Keh Kar RoKta main tujhe, tu To,
Jate Jate GaiR HoNe Ka Ehsas Kara Gayi.
AlwAz rEmbEr dAt v wErE fr!Ends....
...Kuchh baatein yaad rakhna,
...Umar bhar dost rahe na rahe hum,
...Hum dost rahe the kabhi
Bas ye yaad rakhna....!
shAyAr!....
rAjn!kAnt !n cOOk!ng chAmp!Onsh!p....
of course rajni won
bt guess wat he made in finale??
..
..
..
..
lal mirch ki meethi khir:-*
hubby tAunt!ng w!ffy On hEr f!gurE....
Hsbnd:Wo To Ab Bhi H,Bas Pehle Bottle 300ML Ki Thi.
Ab 2 Ltr Ki Ho Gayi..
thE sEcur!ty guArd (adult)
GUARD:Sorry Sir, "AAND"Bhi Lund Ke CLOSE hote hai par Andar Nahi jate
unbEAtAblE rAjn!kAnt....
Graham bell used candle 2 study..
Shakespeare studied in street light..
But,
Do u know about
RAJANIKANT ?
.
.
.
only Agarbatti :-D
hubby n w!fE
Koi jaruri baat karni hoti to bacche k jariye baat karte.
Ek din Husband ka SEX karne ka mood ho gaya,usne bacche ko kaha:Beta apni Ammi se kaho ki latter type karna hai,type writer pe.
Biwi ne kaha:keh do laal ribbon laga hai baad me karna.
3 din baad biwi ne kahalwaya:beta apne Abbu se kaho letter type kar le
Husband:beta jao keh do,latter jaruri tha hath se likh liya.
frustrAtEd dOctOr (adult)
Logo ne pucha-kya hua Dr ?
Dr.- 5 baar aisa hua, ye maderchod NASBANDI Karwane aata h,
aur hr bar JHAAT ktwa k bhag jata h
n!cE msg
Mittran di tor nerali hai.
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Aven na matha mar msg khalli hai
m!sErAblE r!ckhsAwAlA's....
Santa: Bichare Rikshaw wale.
Bnta:Q
Snta:Qki ladki Kuwari ho ya Married "Bhaiya" hi bulati hai
tAlk bEtwEEn husbAnd n w!fE At f!rst n!ght (adult)
.
Biwi shrmate hue:Me itni der se yhi soch rhi thi k mene aapko kahi dekha hai.
OnE hEArt n sO mAny g!rls...
ch!ld , bOy n hEr g!rlfr!End (adult)
Baccha mjhe b karne do warna mai aapke papa ko sub bata duga,
Ladka -le yr karle.
Baccha kafi try karta hai,par uska khada nhi hota,
Baccha chaddi pehnte hue
"maa chudaye duniyadari"
Mai to shikayat hi karuga
mEmOrAblE mOmEnts Of EvEryOnE ch!ldhOOd...
Ans-1: madam par dil aana.
2-pant ki zip mai lulli fasna :-P :-P
Hai naa ???
tchr And studEnts (adult)
Write a poem on
''Girdhar barse aangan me''..
Students-
.
.
Ek hamari pyari madam,
Masti bhare is yovan me,
Shaam hui jab piya ghar aaye,
Khat bichaye aangan me,
Lub choose stan dabaye,
Lund ghusaye janghan me,
Wo sisak-sisak kar ro padi..
Jab.. ''Girdhar barse aangan me''
f!ght OvEr pr!ce (adult)
Raste me 1dost ne pucha kitne ki laye ho,
Sardar;800 ki
Dost:Marwa Aaye Gand 600 me to yahi Mil jati.
Thodi door chalne pr 1 or dost mila/ khatiya kitni ki laye ho
Sardar:600 ki
Dost: marwa aaye gand yahan to 400 ki mil jati.
Phir 1 or
Dost: kahan se aa rahe ho sardar gusse se> gand marwa kr aa raha hun,
Dost> Accha khatiya bhi saath le jaate ho kya?:-P:-D
A pOEts stOry (adult)
Arz hai,
Takdeer mein joh hai wahi Milega..
Hands Up bhosdiwalo koi apni Jagah se nahi Heelega!!
Fir Cashier se kaha..
Apne kuch khwab meri ankho se nikal lo...
Ma ki chut joh kuch bhi tumhare paas hai jaldi se iss bag mein dal do!!
Bahut koshish karta hun teri yad bhulane ki...
Bhenchod koi koshish na kare Police ko bulane ki..!
sOn Ask!ng h!s dAd A quEst!On....
Masal masal k khada kiya or thuk laga k ghusa dia.
Papa-mar khayega.
Beta-arre papa SUI ME DHAGA.:-)
stOry bEh!nd b!g bOss h!dEn fAcE....
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2dy dat person is knwn as BIG BOSS...:D
tchr w!th studEnt....
Aisa koi Same Muhavara Bana Ke Batao
Student-Sania ka baccha,Na INDIA ka Na pakistan ka
sAntA n h!s g!rlfr!End....
GF: Nahi,Besharam..
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Santa: to fir tangein kahan se daalti ho..?:-P
rAjn!kAnt At h!s bEst AgA!n.....
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Later it was discovered that rajnikaanth was smoking from india..!!!
!nd!An tO!lEt.....A!s! AzAd! Aur kAhAn
Answer=
THE INDIAN RAILWAY TRACK
U can use it from
"KASHMIR To KANYA KUMARI"
Aisi aazadi aur kaha
rEmEmbEr mE AlwAz...
"Agr ache logo ko yad kiya jaye to waqt bhi acha guzrta hai.
So....,
"miss me every time;-):-)
rAjn!kAnt AgA!n....
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Winter starts in INDIA..!
Happy Winter!
enjoy winter-)
shEE!lA
/"\
_/"\_
SHEILA
AB YE NACHEGI
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Nach SHEILA Nach
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NACHI KYA..?
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Nhi
.
SORRY
SHEILA SASTE MOBILE PAR NHI NACHTI
sAntA
"I LOVE U"
Or
Niche Likha
Mene English Me isliye Likha H
Ki
Teri MAA padh na sake
Ki
Muje Tumse Pyar.
rAjn!kAnt At !ts bEst AgA!n...
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Via Bluetooth.
mErry chr!stmAs
m€Rry ChR!$Tm@§§.
gud mrng..:-P;-)B-):-D
mErry chr!stmAs
mErry chr!stmAs
dont worry I told Santa I wanted you for CHRISTMAS..
MERRY CHRISTMAS!:-)
Friday, December 24, 2010
b!hAr! dr!v!ng l!cEnsE
__________________________________
DRAIVING LAICENSE
APPLIKASON PHARM:
Note: Please do nat soot the person at the applikason kounter. He bill gib you license..
For phurthar instruction,
see botom pharm.
(Please check karrect opson.)
1. Last Name:
(_) Sinha
(_) Pandey
(_) Misra
(_) Dont knowing
2. Phirst Name:
(_) Ramprasad
(_) Lallan
(_) Sivprasad
(_) Jamnaprasad
(_) Dont knowing
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty
(_) Greater than phipty
(_) Dont knowing
4. Sex:
(_) M
(_) F
(_) Nat Sure
(_) Nat Applicabul
5. Chappal Size:
Lepht: Right:
6. Occupasun:
(_) Palitisan
(_) Dhoodhwaala
(_) Pehelwan
(_) Hause Waife
(_) Nat know
(_) Unemployed
7. Number af children
in Hause:
8. Number of childrens that is yours:
9. Mather Name:
10. Phather Name (If not know, leave blank)
11. Ejjucashun : 1 2 3 4 (Circle on highest grade)
nOt EvEn dEAth cAn sEpArAtE lOvErs....
boy: nothing, can take me away from you too long..
(But one day, he had an accident and died. The girl was so miserable that she took her own life. An angel in heaven told the boy the sad news. Suddenly, the boy attacked the angel. He was sentenced to hell. There, he found the girl crying)
He hugged her and said: "Remember what i told you?
Nothing can take me away from you too long..Not even heaven and angels."
Mdu the great
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Guess Wat..
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He FAILED
MDU Rocks. Rajni Ho Ya Gajini...
MDU me sbki bajni!
Ohhhhh girlsfriends qustns....never ending...
GF: Whr r u going?
Wid whom?
Hw r u going?
To discover what?
why only u?
What should I do when u r gone?
Can i come with u?
When will u be back?
Where will u stay?
U'll miss me na?
COLUMBUS: Le meri maa, nahi jata!
to show is the rltn
Both r mising each othr badly but want d other one to initiate d conversation
Both want to be wid each other, to fight, to argue, to shw luv, bt wud pretend dat dey r fine widout each other
dey wud send each other silly msgs bt wud nt tel tht 'Stupid I am missing U'
dis is frnship smtimes we mis out on most luvable moments just because we want d other one to take d first step.
Showin love might nt improve d situation bt showin anger definately ruins it....:-)
worth a thot:->